LIVING WITH INVISIBLE ILLNESSES
Living with invisible disabilities is a challenge every single day, especially if you're a woman. Statistically women are diagnosed with more invisible illnesses than men, but more is expected of them*. As a woman if you have coloured hair, body modifications such as piercings or tattoos, choose to wear nice clothes instead of comfy clothes, or actually manage to do your makeup for the day they automatically assume you can't have condition X and that you're perfectly fine and it's all in your head. Oh, and lose a few pounds and all your issues will magically go away. Sound familiar?The challenge of addressing symptoms is a huge problem for many. Most doctors will write it off, tell you it's in your head, try to push diets, antidepressants or tell you if you lose X amount of weight you'll start feeling better. Many women will accept the brush off, because why would the doctors lie to you? If they say nothing is wrong, then surely it must be true, right?
If I had listened to that advice, I doubt I would still be here today. I was very unlucky and had symptoms start manifesting in my late teenage years and they became a problem to the point they started affecting my quality of life. My journey didn't get an answer until I was almost in my 30s! Yet countless doctors wrote me off and said there was nothing wrong with me. I was sent for psychological evaluations, had antidepressants pushed on me and always always always told it was because of my weight, even when I weighed as little as 125lbs.
If I hadn't kept pushing I never would have gotten an answer. My day to day life wouldn't have improved. Yes, I still suffer, every day, but nowhere near as bad as my worst days. Knowing what's afflicting my body, as well as having ways to help manage it, has been a huge game changer for me. All because I kept pushing. I was my own advocate, pushing back against a system I found didn't want to actually help me. When they tried to silence my voice and brush me off I went higher than them, reaching out until I could find someone that would listen.
Honestly, it's not easy. I only got this far out of spite and stubbornness. Every day is a struggle. I honestly don't know how women are expected to manage these crippling conditions, hold down a job and potentially run a household and take care of a family. Most days I can barely take care of myself, let alone someone else.
I understand that not everyone can be their own advocate and that's understandable. If possible reach out and get someone to listen, to have them fight for you. Having your health concerns brushed aside shouldn't ever be the answer. It's worse when you have an invisible condition. The stares, the judgment. It gets to you after a time. Sometimes you need a helping hand to get you through.
So please, if you are fighting something, don't give up. Push for answers. You deserve them. You deserve having a decent quality of life and being able to actually live. You shouldn't be silenced and brushed off because the doctor you saw didn't want to put the effort in to help you. You are worth it! So never give up on yourself and keep fighting for your answers!
-Xi
RESOURCES:
Women with disabilities. (Scroll down, I know it looks like there's no article there, but it's lower!)
Health Disparities Between Women With and Without Disabilities: A Review of the Research